Reason No. 2 why it doesn't pay to work for a medical company...

They go a bit OTT on the old blood tests.

So I got the results back of my health-check retest, and it turns out that my triglyceride levels were even lower the second time round: there is practically no fat in my body whatsoever. And that was with me eating crisps and chocolate and tempura and ice cream the night before the blood test. I am a freak of nature! And my company wants me to go back and have ANOTHER test in three months.

I say narks to that. I clearly have some terrible wasting disease that I'd really rather not know about.

In any case, in three months there'll probably be nothing left of me but a shrivelled piece of cartilage wrapped in some urine-soaked skin!