The Mask

Today I went out in public mask like this for the first time.
Don't worry - we haven't had a SARS or an Avian Flu outbreak. It was just a really windy afternoon, and the last time I got rotten hay fever from having pollen blown all up in my face.
I felt kind of odd for a few minutes and then totally got over it. As any visitor to Japan will tell you, these masks are a common sight.
I would say there are three possible reasons why someone would choose to wear one of these face masks in the first place.
1. They suffer from allergies.
2. They have a cold or the flu and don't want to spread it around.
3. They have recently undergone unsuccessful gender realignment surgery (well this is the theory my boss and I came up for for a student we had years ago who would never take off their damn mask - not even in the lesson room).
I guess I can't really criticize - what with my dodgy sunglasses (that you've all seen), my black sun hat, and now my mask, I really have gotten my scary unabomber look down to a tee. I am a living photo-composite off Crimewatch UK.
It's great over here about appearance. I feel so much freedom to dress and act in ways I probably never would at home (hello - man bag, anyone?)
I think part of this freedom comes from the fact that you will always be seen as different over here. You will always be open to being stared at.
No matter how hard you try to adapt to the culture, how hard you try to copy the customs or learn the language, as soon as anyone sees your face, they're never going to buy that you're Japanese.
I think you just resign yourself to sticking out and then go on to emrace it.
I think also, you really feel like you have a clean slate when you come to Japan - even more so than another foreign country.
Maybe this is because there are so few Irish. I mean, in Ireland I am the sum of my background, my education, my accent, my side of the river. But here I can pretty much create who I am. When you say you come from Ireland, the Japanese have almost zero assumptions about you. So you build yourself from scratch.
This is very liberating and empowering, but I'm not sure if it's psychologically that healthy. I mean your background is what has made you. You shouldn't cut yourself free from it. If you do, you run the risk of not knowing who you are or where you belong. Even worse, you could end up feeling like you don't actually belong anywhere.
I don't think this has happened to me. In fact this is all probably just guff to justify me walking out of the house in a binliner and pink fluffy mules.
As long as I wear green, I will always be Irish.
As long as I live in Dublin, I will always be a Northsider.
And as long as I breathlessly rush to tell you somebody you've never heard of has just died, I will always be a Cadwell.