Whyyyyy?????

Evidence the Universe hates me at the moment:
1. I failed my first mock test for my big final exam in December. And not just by a little bit - a whole whopping 20%. Three months out this is not good. So it looks like I'm probably going to have to repeat the poxy year again and a qualifcation that should have taken two years will now end up taking four. Arse!
2. Even my one true friend, The Interweb, hates me. Lovely email stabbed me in the back and proved beyond doubt that I will never be an FBI agent.
3. After teasing us with the most beautiful autumn weather (my absolute favourite season in Japan), the hot sticky mess has come back with a vengeance: mid thirties and so humid you could cut the air with a knife. What happened to dry air, clear blue skies and the beautiful 25 degrees of last week?
4. And last but not least, a sure sign somebody up there has it in for me at the moment: I went to yoga tonight with a proactive, business-like mindset. No faffing around in the changing rooms, I decided I'd wear my yoga shorts underneath my trousers and use that extra time for stretching before class. Cut to me getting out of the shower after class realising I hadn't brought any clean underpants to change into. So I had to go home commando. What if there'd been an earthquake? On top of being dead or lying injured in an emergency room, I'd have been mortified. Appropriately (or more ironically) I was wearing combats tonight. Not the softest fabric. I've just looked up the word 'chafing' in the dictionary. If that comes up in my final test, I'm set.
But...
Reasons to keep on living:
1. My new favourite programme has not in fact been cancelled, as I'd feared, just moved in the schedule. It's great, it's going to be on all the time now. That should really help me plug up that gaping 20% hole, eh?
2. The hope of hearing my father (the Renaissance man) get his radio play aired on national radio. It's a really good script. If it wins the competition, I will definitely let you know how to hear it over the Internets.
3. The fancy weighing scales in my yoga studio and yoga in general. So they have this really space age scales that sends electric pulses through your body and lets you know your body fat precentage, muscle mass, and of course weight. They even have a handy chart hanging nearby to show you how you measure up. Turns out I'm totally Joe Average. But there were plenty of other helpful illustrations like, 'The Sportsman Zone', 'The Muscle Man Zone', 'The Puny Zone' (I was amazed to find I didn't fall into this section) and 'The Sumo Wrestler Zone'. Wow, that'd really do your self confidence a lot of good if before your yoga lesson you were told by the friendly machine that you'd be better suited to lobbing salt about a sumo ring than limbering up on a yoga mat. Anyway, my new reason for living is to get into that prized sportsman zone. Plus now that this whole translation gig seems to be slipping further and further away from me, another string to my bow wouldn't hurt. Maybe it's time to get serious about getting qualified to teach yoga. Maybe I should look for some teacher training courses somewhere around the world to take summer '07. Any suggestions gladly accepted.