Is there a New Tokyo in New England?

Another update about how my workplace is just a hotbed of rumour and intrigue.

So my boss's boss corners me after a meeting and out of the blue says, 'Have you ever thought of moving into financial accounting - we're going to need someone in Connecticut - and you used to work for a bank, right?'

So I tried to be all funny and light and laugh it off, and I said, 'Oh, I could never do a job like that again - I'm much too mean. I'd never let anyone have any money. I'd deny all their expenses!!!'

And then he was like, 'Oh yes, that's exactly what we need!'

I think I then turned kinda grey and walked off sort of laughing sort of sweating. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Luckily I am now in a frame of mind where I am thinking 'I am out of here in three days time and I just don't care' or I would be slightly concerned about this latest rumour.

Do they even have soba noodles in Connecticut?

Pray for me.

P.S. Before I get any excited mails about meeting for coffee in Boston every other weekend, etc., etc., I would like to underline that senior management hints at a different overseas posting for me at least monthly and yet I have not moved an inch; they just like thinking aloud, guys.

若年認知症 (jakunen ninchisho - premature senile dementia)

I have finally started my 逐次通訳 (chikuji tsuyaku - continuous interpreting) course in earnest.

I knew it was going to be hard - the mere fact that they're making me interpret out of my native tongue and into Japanese is challenge enough. Moreover, studying and working at the same time is always a pain. However, the whole subject has turned out to be even more difficult than I had initially feared.

So much so that, even though I used to joke that I had some form of 若年認知症 (jakunen ninchisho - premature senile dementia), I am now seriously considering going and getting myself tested. You see, one of the first exercises we did was a retention test where the teacher played about a minute of dialogue in English, and all I had to do was say back the same dialogue IN ENGLISH. But I couldn't do it - it was so hard! As soon as I started thinking, "Oh, I'd better remember this part..." I'd get a total brain freeze and forget all the preceding dialogue.

I tell you, it is going to be a studious weekend around these parts with me trying to retain and restate every freaking thing that I hear.

To summarize -

Week One of Course = Hideous, Shaming Experience => Weekend of Funless Grind Bettering Myself

Japan puts the 'alarm' in alarm clock

Ah, come on!

I was woken up at 5am today to a strong earthquake, only to find out that we also have a tsunami and a typhoon warning in effect at the same time.

The gods are angry with poor auld Nippon...

A couple of items from my "Only in Japan" File...

Let's play a little game, shall we? What do you think this handy device is?

The answer?








A portable washlet! That's right - you know those wonderful Japanese toilets that I am always going on about. Yeah, you remember... the ones that shoot water up your whatsit to irrigate your colon and reduce teepee consumption. Well now you can have one for your handbag (or manbag) when you travel. Seriously, only in Japan, folks.

The only thing that is holding me back from rushing out and buying one of these puppies is that it looks extremely like my electric waterpik and I am concerned about getting them confused.

The other thing I wanted to tell you about that could only happen over here occured earlier on today.

So I was taking a walk in the neighbourhood over the river from me. It's a real downtown, traditional part of town and has a pretty Japanese garden (清澄庭園　Kiyosumi Teien) that's well known for its pond full of multicoloured carp.

So there I am crossing the road to get to this park when I am nearly run over by a sumo wrestler. Ryogoku - the Tokyo home of sumo - is just down the road. It was just so incongruous and comical that I nearly wish he had knocked me down so that I would have had more time to take in the scene. I mean the guy was like 200 kilos and had the whole lacquered hair and top knot, and yet there he was riding a tiny granny bike complete with front basket. Again, not to labour the point, but only in Japan.

Cicada (with a face kind of like a Pug, doncha think?)

Devoted readers of this blog (hi Mam and Dad - well, Mam once the entries aren't too long!) will remember that I had a bit of a viral hit with my youtube video of a tree full of cicadas singing. It's up to nearly 14,000 views now - and nothing happens in the video. It's just a tree. There's lot of freaky folks out there.

Anyway, as we don't have these wee beasties in Ireland, I thought I'd upload a pretty good picture of one I caught walking in Ginza the other day.

Signage - especially for my little bro

Here's an example of Engrish spotted by me on the streets of Tokyo. This is to remind you of all those teenage hours wasted watching Southpark (Mega Barbara Streisandooooo!)...

This sign is a lot more charming than the one I saw the other day next to an apartment entrance in the residential backstreets of classy Roppongi. It simply read"No Droppings, No Vomit!" Succint, to the point, and only in Roppongi would it need to be stated. Remember how much you hated that neighbourhood - turns out you had every reason to.