A long awaited toilet update

It has been brought to my attention that I haven’t been blogging up my usual storm. Sorry about that.
My finals start next week and run until the big test on December 3rd. So Japanese has been crazy. On top of this, I had a bunch of yoga lesson tickets that had to be used before the beginning of November. So if I haven’t been working or studying, I’ve had to be in yoga. I hope that things will go a little bit back to normal from now on.
Japanese has been going pretty poorly. While everyone else in my class has seen their grades get better, mine have been getting worse. And this with me studying harder than ever. It’s looking bleak. Bleaker still is the fact that everyone in my school has received their examinee registration except me. Do you think the gods are trying to tell me not to bother, fall back off the wagon and just get sozzled until my bro arrives in December?
Having been so busy, essentials have falling by the wayside. By essentials I mean cooking, cleaning, laundry, that kind of thing. I’ve been eating out way too often, the dirty clothes pile is now taller than I am, and my flat is so dirty that I’m considering moving just to avoid cleaning it. If my bro were to arrive now, he’d have to choose between sleeping in the shower room or the toilet: the only two places that I’ve kept in order.
During my Internet silence, I’ve neglected to fill you in on so many toilet-related advances. Now is your chance to catch up.
Toto, the Mercedes Benz of conveniences, has gone all out. New toilet bowls are fully silicone-lined. No nasty business can stick to them... ever! They’re billed as the toilets you never have to clean. More exciting still, a new optional extra analyses your waste and prints out dietary and medical advice based on what you leave behind. Furthermore, this function studies your family’s patterns and modulates the electricity and water consumption accordingly. How cool is that! And what would all this set you back? A snip at 5,000 to 10,000 Euro.
Needless to say all their new toilets are fully automated. You don’t have to lift the lid or flush or anything. It’s all done by sensors. This is true of so many devices in Japan; doors, wash basins, ticket gates. It’s actually becoming a bit of a problem. Some scientists are trying to draw a link between the increased automation of Japanese society and the sky-rocketing levels of premature senility over here. Pretty scary.
So next time you see me, if I’m standing in front of a closed door with a confused look on my face, unable to use the door handle, I hope you’ll be sympathetic and understand my plight.