A Stinky Post

Well, we are still in the throes of rainy season. Think drippy, sweaty moistness 24 / 7... especially since God flicked the switch about a week ago and sent us up into the 30s every day. I had been predicting it would be a cool summer. What I don't know could fill a barn, I tell ya!
With my big sis's impending visit, I was hoping the weather wouldn't be too muggy. I honestly don't mind it that much myself but for the uninitiated it can be a challenge.
I also try to be a bit of a tree-hugger when it comes to the whole aircon thing. I avoid using it as much as possible. I really believe that all those conditioning systems running all day and night, using up so much power and pouring out hot air into the atmosphere crank up the temperature a good three or four degrees. I'm totally cereal! (Southpark fans will hopefully get the quote)
But when big sis arrives I say screw global warming. I'll have my apartment a dry and icy oasis for the two weeks she's here.
By way of parenthesis, I booked one night in a swanky hotel for the two of us in Tokyo right near the Imperial Palace. I am so excited. Probably way more than she is. We're only going away up the north on a tour for two days. It's a very early start so a Tokyo hotel will be way more convenient than schlepping in from the burbs. But with only this small break to look forward to, I feel like I'm getting ready to take another round the world trip. My life is clearly very sad and needs more excitement.
Back to the issue of the rainy season perma-mist.
So at this time of year it's practically impossible to get clothes dry. Friends from Lux (especially those now living in Israel) will know quite how dear 'good drying out' is to my heart.
Not only do we have to worry about our garments getting covered in mould around now, on the rare chances you have to whip the clothes out on the blacony, there's always the danger a bloody stink beetle will alight on them and do its worst. Yes, on top of earthquakes, typhoons, volcanoes and rainy season, we have bloomin' stink beetles to contend with.
A certain travelling companion of mine will know exactly what stink beetle smells like. Think vomit mixed with kerosene. While touring Western Australia together, she of the bright ideas couldn't bare to sleep with stink beetles near her and decided to take a brush and sweep them violently out of the room. Not a good idea. If left alone, they don't do too much harm. But if dragged and squished along a hard concrete floor, they tend to panic and release their pheromones. Needless to say the room we slept in that night was not the most pleasant smelling.
Not that I can crticise. I was not much help. In fact, I wasn't that much good for anything on that particular tour having given myself a good dose of alcohol poisoning there the first night. I need to go to my happy place. Seriously traumatic memories.
Here in Japan, I think my combats my have been the victim of the old stink beetle juice there the other day. I had left some laundry out over night, which is a major no-no at this time of year as that's when the bugs come out. I am also informed by my friend that it is very bad feng shue.
Anyway, I was in class and every now and then got a terrible whiff. I thought it was maybe from the carpet or something, but it followed me when I changed classrooms.
I then got really paranoid. I started to worry that it was coming from me. I mean from inside of me. I was starting to fear that you could actually catch old people smell.
You see the average age of my students is about 65, and the idea of elderly odour is a major topic in Japan right now. Seriously it's on the news, in magazines, in everyday conversation. There is a booming trade in measures to battle old people smell - special herbs and supplements, ointments, creams and even specially treated fabrics from which to make clothes.
Now don't get me wrong, Japanese people are incredibly hygienic. A daily bath is sacrosanct. But Japanese (especially older Japanese) are averse to using and cologne or fragrance. Ideally Japanese people prefer no smell at all, neither good nor bad. But as you age, your internal organs decay a little, your teeth and gums are not what they used to be, and even your hair and nails lose their condition. This can lead to an odour emanating from you which no amount of washing can change. I think in the west, this smell is often just masked. But here it's literally in your face.
So for a good few hours I was convinced I had somehow managed to join the ranks of the malodourous aged. I spend most of the time thinking my students have given me premature senility, so to think they'd given me old people smell too was not that much of a stretch.
But, that night, on closer inpection of my trousers (read almost wretching when I held them up to my nose) I figured an insect attack was the more likely explanation.
Now I realise this was a very long-winded post. But I was trying to make a point. You see a little birdie told me that my Mam tends to give up when the entries I make here are too long, and doesn't bother reading them at all! Only a mother's love... You never get a big head in my family, I'll tell you that. Mam, if you made it this far, I promise I'll keep posts brief from now on.