Blossom Watch 2006 II

Well, they're almost here!
'We' Japanese keep such a watchful eye on how the cherry trees are coming along that we even have it down to percentages. Today I would say we have reached about 70% of full bloom in the Tokyo area. This up from only 30% a few days ago. It's very exciting.
To be honest, I have been naughty and skiving off Japanese a bit to go and view as much of the flowers as possible. Previous years I haven't had it so good, what with busy schedules, bad weather and plain bad luck. But Blossom Watch 2006 is going doing in the annals.
The other day I enjoyed a small local park at about 30% bloom - as I was cutting class, it was me, the mothers with babies, the eldery and infirm and the unemployed.
Then today I took a 5km walk under a tunnel of white and pink petals. You have to believe there's a god when you get a chance to see such beauty.
Then Friday is a special day off work. I'm going to have lunch in town with some friends and hit one of the most famous viewing places in Tokyo. It's likely to be me and a few hundred thousand of my closest acquaintances. But it should be fun.
For those of you who are interested (and I guess it really only means you, Mam - and maybe not even) I am going to upload all my botanical photos from the last few days into a special album.

Lick me!

This is a letter I received from a student the other day. You might have to zoom in for a better look.
Man! I must be one gifted teacher. I've been giving this woman English lessons for about two a half years, and she still can't get my name right!
I will admit to the odd slip myself when it comes to 'L' and 'R' - big sis will testify.
But to still not know my name... it makes me clazy!

Samurai Spirit

The cult of the Bushi (武士　－ Samurai) seeps into many aspects of the Japanese national psyche. You could almost call it a Samurai fetish. The most unexpected things end up being aligned with Bushido (武士道 - the Way of the Samurai)
In cherry blossom season, it is said that the blooms themselves live the samurai ideal: A short, glorious existence, snuffed out at its peak.
Camellia, too, are compared to the ancient warrior class. These round, red or pink flowers abound in Japan in springtime, an alternative name for them even being Japonica.
They bud, flower and fall from the bush whole, allegedly never shedding a single petal. This, again, a metaphor for expiring in a blaze of glory.
Baseball, too, is given its warriors.
The World Baseball Classic was held in the US a few weeks ago. I guess you could say that it's the 'World Cup' of baseball, though hardly any countries seem to play the game that seriously.
Japan initially played pretty badly and almost got eliminated. A stroke of luck led them to qualify to the final stages, and they ended up going all the way to claim the title.
This victory was in large part down to the team captain, Ichiro Suzuki. Like Cher or Sting, he's famous enough to be known only as 'Ichiro' (イチロー).
Up until the championship he had been seen as a very successful player, but somewhat cold, a little selfish, and almost robot-like in his lack of emotion. Less gifted players were much more popular because of this.
But on the occasion of Japan's near defeat, he let down this mask, let his passion, anger and frustration show, and channelled all of this into leading his team to the finals.
His leadership and inpsiration of less experienced players was very significant for the supporters. Unlike Ichiro, many Major League players refused to take part in this purely patriotic championship. They feared an injury so near the start of the season would endanger their high-paying, professional careers.
So the Japanese have gone wild for this new hero, exclaiming Ichiro exemplified Yamatodamashii (大和魂 - the Spirit of Ancient Japan). This is a code of honour, stoicism and placing the needs of the group ahead of the needs of the individual. It's also a code that many people feel has been eroded or even lost as Japan has modernised.
Ichiro has, knowingly or unknowingly, has reinvented his image and career. He has seen his value to advertisers double. More importantly, in a country where football has seen a huge increase in popularity of late, he has put baseball back in the hearts and minds of the young. To illustrate this, the specially designed 'Team Japan' uniform (in samurai blue - I kid you not) sold out hours after the final and caught the manufacturers by complete surprise.
Of course this warrior worship is not all sunshine and lollipops.
You could argue that anything from the kamikaze pilots of the Second World War to the thousands of business owners who commited suicide when Japan's economic bubble burst could be traced back to following the Way of the Samurai.
A more interesting criticism of the samurai spirit comes from the women of Japan.
They claim that men who embrace stoicism and duty without feeling are arrogant, cold and unable to connect with others emotionally.
This could explain the many, many loveless marriages over here.
It could also explain the uniquely Japanese phenomenon of the LBH (Loser Back Home).
Thes Loser Back Home is a man who is sadly not blessed with looks, charm or career success. He moves to Japan and ends up with a stunningly beautiful girlfriend or wife, eventhough he would have no hope of getting such an amazing partner back in his home country.
Many Japanese women, it seems, are tired of the aloof and emotionally stunted Japanese 'samurai'. They look past many superficial qualities and fall head over heels for a man from Europe, America or elsewhere who pays them attention, is gentelmanly, expressive and emotional.
And if I ever hear anyone putting my name and the letters L, B & H in the same sntence, they will get a kicking. In any case I think you actually have to have a girlfriend to be termed a LBH. I guess they'll have to come up with a a new cateogry for me - LBHAIJT - Loser Back Home and In Japan Too! Just kidding - I rock!

Human Ant Farm?

Forget sumo, when you come to Japan, you soon realize that shopping is the true national sport. You can shop anytime, any place, anywhere.
And the department stores, boutiques and malls are palaces.
The Mori family, like the Japanese Trumps, have cornered the market in these marble and glass temples.
Under the brand name 'Hills' (Ark Hills, Roppongi Hills, Omotesando Hills) they have developed a shopping concept that guarantees a reaction.
Unfortunately my reaction on entering Omotesando Hills above was of a massive science experiment gone wrong. All I could think was, 'This is a human ant farm!'
Seriously, it was like something out of Gattaca - people trudging drone-like through the motions of having a good time.
You can't even really stop as it disturbs the flow of customers. Wait around too long and a guard will very politely ask you to keep moving in procession through the centre... consume, consume, consume.
But even the 'Hills' brand is vulnerable.
I visited 'Roppongi Hills' the same day I took this picture. It was almost deserted.
Before Omotesando opended it was Tokyo's most exclusive shopping, residential and office complex. But it was touched by scandal.
One of it's most high-profile tenants, Takefumi Horie, a multimillionaire internet entrepreneur, was recently arrested for some serious white collar crime. Now he, the comlex and what they stood for are seen as undesirable and people are flocking eslwhere. I
t's another example of the sheep-effect I posted about before, and a warning to anyone thinking of starting a business in Japan to maintain your public 'face' at all costs.
Wow, that turned into quite a rant - sorry about that.
I'll just go back to distributing my copies of 'The Socialist Worker' on the street corner, okay?

Civic responsibility

When I was blogging about St Patrick's Day yesterday I forgot to mention one of the things that impressed me most about the parade. It's also one of the things I like best about the attitude of most Japanese people.
There is a really strong sense of civic responsibilty in the national character - something which can be very lacking at times in the country of my birth.
So the very last group in the parade, and one of the largest contingents, was all these volunteers meticulously picking up and disposing of any rubbish the crowds had left behind.
I know there a many, many examples I could give of times when this society is totally messed up and definitely not a model for other countries, but the above story surely highlights one of the admirable things.

The Green Gob (lin)

So I dyed my beard green for the parade. It got so much comment - I was blown away.
Now Japanese people, especially people in Tokyo, are usually very shy. But I had people stopping me on the street, saying 'Wow that's really cool!' and generally just being very nice.
The highlight of the day for me was when St. Patrick himself, who was leading the parade, stopped and came over to me in the crowd to ask me if the goatee was my natural colour.
Perhaps I should theme my facial hair more often... red for Valentines, yellow for Easter, black and orange for Halloween. What do you think?

St. Paddy smiled down on me

For Tokyoites, St Patrick's Day was officially yesterday, the 19th of March.
As it's not a public holiday, the festivities are always transferred to the nearest weekend.
All week long the weather forecast predicted rain for Sunday. I was bummed as every other day was due to be beautiful.
Then on Sunday morning, I awoke with a sore throat and a little fever. I as good as decided there and then not to bother going to the parade.
I had to teach one lesson that morning, so I got on the train and was surprised to see that the whole train was decorated with one advertisement. This sometimes happens if some company is starting a new campaign or launching a new product or something. It must cost a fortune.
Anyway it was a clear sign from St Patrick to cheer up and haul ass to the parade, as each poster used this massive clover logo. The good man had changed the whoel train in to my own personal shamrock bedazzled Paddy-wagon.
I am so glad I ended up going as the weather was beautiful - a perfect Spring day. It was crisp, clear with a deep, blue sky and warm enough to go without a jacket.
The parade was much the same as in previous years. Lots of marching bands. Cute Irish red-setters and Irish wolf hounds. Japanese girls in Irish dancing costume. Football supporters, pub owners and lots and lots of cooperative associations.
The green-mohawked Japanese guy wearing a kilt and playing the bagpipes won Man of the Parade, as far as I was concerned.
A weird and wonderful cultural mix and a great expression of the idea that anyone can be Irish on St Paddy's Day.
If you want to check out the photos in detail, I have a whole album up on this site under 'St Patricks Day 2006'.

The best beer ever!

So I just feel that the advertising executive who came up with this slogan needs to be shot.
I mean the whole thing just doesn't seem to pack that killer punch.
It has the kind feeling of like'We really sell a lot of beer... honestly... you mean you don't believe us?!!'
Very reminiscent of the Luxembourg tourist board campaign... ' 25th most popular place to visit in the European Union.'

Blossom Watch 2006

So in an effort to reassert my Japanese-ness, I am filling you in on how the cherry blossoms are coming on.
I swear to God, I never paid any attention to a freakin' flower until I started living in this country. Now I'm like counting down until the next tree starts to bloom. It's insane!
Anyway, according to my expert analysis, I would say there is less than a week left until the cherry blossom trees reach full bloom.
I can't wait until it's time to whip out the blue, plastic sheets and the karaoke machines and start singing up a storm under the pink and white flowers.

American military

Sometimes it's really easy to forget that the US has a major military presence over here. But then you can be walking in a park right in the centre of downtown Tokyo, and come across a sign like this. It just reminds you that Japan is still a major player in the Asia-Pacific theatre, as far as the American military is concerned.
It's weird because the location is this expensive, exclusive, residential area, and yet there is an American helipad right there in the middle of it all.
My own beloved hometown of Zama has only featured in the BBC news twice, to the best of my knowledge.
The first time was months ago when this American guy who deserted in North Korea was debriefed in Zama.
Then, more recently, there was a huge protest where 2000 people opposed the transfer of more troops from the South of Japan to the American military base in Zama.
I'm not really too sure how I feel about this issue. I totally understand that the US is playing a balancing role, discouraging North Korea from firing dirty nuclear weapons into my backyard.
On the other hand, I also understand that transferring young, inexperienced and often uneducated officers to my city could bring about an increase in antisocial behaviour and general trouble. I really hope that Zama won't become a more dangerous place to live.
Up to now, the people based here have been high-ranking, mature and settled. If we get a bunch of crazy, new recruits what could become of this town.
You know what though, I'm actually worried that I might have broken the law by taking this picture at all. I know that the US services can be really strict about security. So if anyone comes knocking on your door, asking aboout this blog, just channel Manuel and say, 'I know nothing!'

Ella

This is just for my big sis. This is a picture taken by an amateur photographer that recently appeared in the papers over here. It's really cute (and totally photshopped, in my opinion), but how long do you think that poor butterfly would have lasted if the dog had been Ella.

Keep watching the skies! (quote, anyone?)

Family and friends would surely agree that I am a sky bore: I love watching the clouds, the moon and stars, sunsets, and the like. I do tend to go on about it a bit (escpecially on road trips - sorry H and R).
But I've been a bit off my game of late and haven't really noticed anything nice until today.
I thought this was a really beautiful metal-grey sky. I especially loved how the sun's rays were streaming through the clouds... very 'God is watching us...' (cut to me singing Bette Midler)
In Japan, people say I like watching the sky (and in particular the moon) because I was born in the year of the rabbit (1975).
You see, Japanese people don't see a man in the moon at all. Rather they see two rabbits, raising hammers, pounding rice in a mortar.
It's a nice story, but the Japanese people are clearly on crack. The real thing looks totally like a face and nothing at all like two animals engaged in heavy labour.

The Unabomber

After taking the picture of the new look below, I was going to head out and so put on my sunnies.
I caught sight of myself and realized I have the Unabomber thing down.
It's really quite scary. I'm glad I don't have to go through customs any time soon.
I'm definitely gonna have to work on growing back the hair, and I think the beard will go after I dye it green for St Paddy's Day.

Hard Off !?!

This is the sign of a chain of stores in Japan called Hard Off. It’s a place where you can go to buy and sell household goods, clothes, sports equipment, and the like.
It has a sister store that sells lingerie and racy videos. Can you guess what it’s called?
I’m just kidding. But there really is an allied shop that is for second-hand books CDs and DVDs. Its called Book Off.
Whenever you go to s regular bookshop in Japan, they wrap the new book in paper at the register. You know like how you used to do with your new textbooks and copies at the end of August during the Back-to-School Sales. I used to always want just simple brown paper. I loved the uniform look of those crisply covered books and pads. Depending on what was available at home that year though, you’d sometimes end up with mismatched wallpaper. I hated that – it was never anywhere near as satisfying.
But I digress.
I think the shop assistants wrap the new purchases for a few reasons.
One: As the book is covered, it’s easier to keep it in good condition, and then easier to finally sell on to stores like Book Off. I think this is a great form of recycling, and is something we should copy in other countries.
Two: It’s advertising for the shop. The paper usually displays names and logos prominently. This is important in a land where you spend so much time sitting opposite other people on the train looking at what they’re doing.
Three: I think it might also be to stop those same people opposite you from being able to see exactly what you’re reading. Especially seeing as so many scummy salary men riding the train read porno books and manga at all times of the day and night.
In any case, mature as I am, it always gives me a giggle whenever I see the Hard Off sign as I go by one of the shops.

My New Look

So this is the new look. I’m going for Albanian Cigarette Smuggler Chic.
I know many friends and family will not be pleased with the buzz cut, but it’s just so convenient. I can’t keep it like this for too long. I’ve been invited to a wedding in May, and I can’t have myself looking like a repeat offender, putting on his best suit for another appearance in the dock.
When my boss saw the new style, she tried to compliment me. But like the Lord, my boss giveth (“With the new short hair and beard you look so masculine”) and my boss taketh away (“I mean clean-shaven and with longer hair you look quite effeminate”)
At least I hope that’s what she said. The word she chose in Japanese can mean masculine, feminine or sexual, depending on the situation. If she meant sexual, then that’s a whole other can of worms. I don’t even want to go there.
I guess she is rich, though.

Bucks Fizz, anyone?

Yesterday my student came up to me at the end of class. She told me she had some Mimosas for me as a gift. I was all excited until I found out it wasn't Champagne and orange juice, but some stinkin' flowers from her garden. I put them in a wine glass anyway.
It's really no wonder I'm alone when you think that this is the standard of blog entry I come up with.
I've hit another brick wall with my Japanese studies of late. The other languages I've tried to learn have always had a romanized alphabet. This way, if you don't know a word, at least you can sound it out and make some stab at communication.
It's so frustrating. With Japanese each kanji (Chinese character) can be pronounced a few different ways depending on the context. On top of this, the meaning can change depending on the sentence, too.
The real killer is when you know the character, you know what it means in that situation, but you just can't remember (or don't know) how to sound it out. There ain't no movin' forward from that. This is a communication barrier I am uncomfortably familar with, unfortunately.
I will leave you with the characters for my mantra...
禅パトリック　(Zen Patrick)
AAUUUUMMMMM!

Agatha remembered

I have been feeling a little low over the last few weeks.
When I feel like this it does me a lot of good to go back to somewhere familiar and think about how my life has developed.
To this end, I went back to visit Tsurukawa, the place I first lived when I came to Japan five years ago.
I was so excited about moving to Japan, and even more thrilled at being placed in Tokyo.
I had visions of living in a cleaner version of a set from the movie 'Bladerunner'.
I clearly remember being collected by representatives of my company at the airport, and them leading me to my new apartment.
It took so long to get there - three trains, a bus and a gruelling walk up a forty-five degree hill in the dark of night.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up next morning to find I wasn't living in a cement jungle, but rather just beside the little field pictured above. I mean I was in Tokyo all right, but bloomin' back-arse-of-nowhere, suburban Tokyo.
It was a thirty-minute walk from my door to the train station. This in a country where ten minutes is seen as too much!
One of the best decisions I ever made was buying my beloved granny bike, Agatha (front shopping basket and all). I wonder where she's rusting away right now.
Anyway, going back there and walking around my old neighbourhood really did my soul good. It hasn't changed a bit. I remembered all those feelings of excitement, confusion and joy at finally being in a place I'd dreamed of coming to.
It was also good to think how far I've come. Since living there I've been around the world to Asia, America and Australia. I've visited home several times. I've gotten a new and far better apartment, a new and far better job and a new and far better grasp of the language. It was a really big trip for me to be able to read all these signs and store names and directions that had been but charming squiggles before.
The whole walk charged me up and filled me with fond memories of the past, and hopes for the future.
Here's to another couple of years yet.

Pro Wres

This one is just for my younger bro.
I know how you love the wrestling. Here is a picture of two of my students. Their grandfather was a famous professional wrestler in his day.
I guess it's carried on in the genes.

Even the weather is on a schedule in Japan

It's no secret 'we' Japanese love timetables: Friends arrive for rendez-vous early or on time, the bus schedule (unlike in Ireland) is not a work of fiction, and it goes without saying that you can set your watch by the trains.
Even the weather patterns are so predictable it seems they're following a cosmic timetable.
Above is a picture of some plum blossoms entering full bloom about now. They come into flower just after the typical springtime 三寒四温　(san kan shi on - three days of cold weather followed by four days of hot weather) and just before 春一番　(haru ichiban - the first gales of spring). You'll also often here people say, '厚さ寒さ彼岸まで' (atsusa samusa higan made - the heat or the cold will last until either equinox).
On the one hand, it makes you feel really connected to nature to have the year mapped out so clearly in the landscape and in the climate.
On the other hand, I feel sure it makes the time slip by even quicker. As soon as you feel the mixed up cold and hot weather, you know the plums are on the way. This indicates the strong winds are coming. So you start to look forward to the arrival of the cherry blossoms, But once they get here, you have to prepare yourself for the onslaught of the rainy season. This will finally break only to introduce the hot humid summer, where every day tips thirty and you sweat buckets. Just when you think it can't get any worse, typhoons come along to hammer the beejaysus out of you. You won't get any relief until autumn, when the leaves turn red and gold and fall to the ground. Then it's time for the cold of winter, and the whole thing starts again.

Japanese society is changing

My last entry got me to thinking about the Japanese reputation for honesty.
This country is by far the safest I have ever experienced, but the times they are a-changing.
I can still, being the idiot I am, leave the house all day, with my French windows fully open, and come home to find the place intact. But in smaller ways, dishonesty is creeping into the social life of the Japanese.
On the platform of my local train station, a new sign has been posted. It asks people kindly not to jump the fence, but leave the station through the ticket gates at the station building.
Now in Ireland this wouldn't cause me to raise an eyebrow - there people evade fares all the time. But this is just not done in Japan - usually people are meticulous about getting the exact fare right.
I also don't think it's simple enough to say that it must be foreigners: The sign was only in Japanese - not English or Spanish.
Nor can you simply dismiss it and say Japan is going to the dogs.
What I actually think is happening is that people are getting lazy.
Most people in my town commute. It's a real sleeper suburb. So usually passengers have a flat-fee, monthly commuter pass.
This means that in jumping the fence they're not actually trying to diddle the company out of a fare, they just don't want to walk all the way back to the station building if their home is a quick hop away.
The worrying thing for me is that this attitude, if true, would represent a major psychological shift. Older Japanese wouldn't dream of putting their personal comfort over respect for the train c ompany, the owner of the parking lot they'd be tramping through illegally or the younger people to whom they'd be setting a bad example.
It just makes me wonder if these small, insidious shifts represent the start of a downward slide to break-ins, vandalism and muggings on a daily basis. I sure hope not.

人気No.1!!!

人気No.1!!!

So the title above reads 'Ninki No.1'. It means 'Number 1 Favourite Item!' You see it everywhere in Japan - in shops, in restaurants, on TV ads. It's usually stuck on the top-selling item in bright, garish letters.
I came across it as usual today, and wanted to put it out there: 'Do we in the West rely so much on letting customers know what the most popular item is?' (ed. note: My first Sarah Jessica Parker moment...I thank you)
I honestly think it's just a Japanese thing. There is a huge act-like-sheep sydrome over here. People really do fit the stereotype of trying to always find concensus. I think each person thinks, 'Well if lots of other people have it, it must be good.' Safety in numbers.
You especially notice this with restaurants and shopping centres. A new restaurant or shop will be profiled in a magazine or on TV and will be filled to capactiy the next day. This will last about a month until the next 'in' place is found, and then everyone will move on en masse.
I work in a very quiet, residential area. Certainly not a gastronomic hub. The other day a new steakhouse opened and there were people queueing up in the rain to get a table. What realy makes me laugh is it's a chain - the menu is exactly the same as at any other outlet. Perhaps Japanese people just love to queue.
A little aside about new resuartants and shops. When a new place opens, well wishers get these massive bouquets of flowers delivered. They stand outside the place of business until they start to wilt and die. The funny thing is, at night local people will come and steal flowers from the seriously metre-tall arrangements and bring home little bouqets to their homes. I was kind of outraged when I first saw it happeneing,but then I thought that at least the flowers aren't going to waste.

Hina matsuri (Doll's Festival)

It was dolls festival the to other day on March 3rd. This is a festival to celebrate girls making it safely to the ages of three or seven (apparently a lot of young girls would die around these ages in ancient Japan - they're seen as particularly sensitive or dangerous milestones)
In any case, it's a time when families decorate their homes with beautiful, ornate dolls, eat popped, sugary coloured rice and dress up in kimonos. The photo above is of an origami doll display a student made for our school.
I love in Japan how almost every month offers up some speical festival or event - only last month I was throwing beans around the place, wishing for good luck to come into my house and bad luck to go out, and standing facing south-south-east eating a sushi roll.
March 3rd was also the National Day of the Ear. In Japanese, the word for ear is 'mimi', but 'mi' 'mi' can also mean 'three' 'three', hence the scheduling. This little piece of information made me smile at an otherwise blue time.

I'm so lucky, but do I even appreciate it

My troubles are very few, especially when I think about how hard some other people have it.
One of my oldest friends here in Japan has really been kicked in the teeth.
To give you some background, he is English and had a Latin American partner here in Japan. Because of an immigration mix-up, the partner was deported back to Peru. He had been living with a serious drug and alcohol addiction problem for many years. So he entered rehab in a sort of christian commune in the deep countryside somewhere. It seems this community focused not only on dealing with addiction, but also on trying to brainwash people who entered there that they weren't gay. Needless to say, this devastated my friend and put their relationship under terrible strain. My friend had moved heaven and earth to try and keep his partner in Japan, and literally almost bankrupted himself getting to Bolivia and Peru to be with the one he loves. I know this all sounds like a bad soap opera, but it's painfully serious. Ten days ago, the partner passed away in hospital from liver failure.
It's really hard for me to get my head around the fact that someone as good and kind and positive as my friend would be put through so much torment. He's really not doing well and I guess I and his other friends feel pretty useless. It certainly puts my silly complaints into perspective. Life really is too short.
I guess at times like this you try to grasp at whatever small positives you can. On leaving the commune and entering the hospital, the partner had gotten clean, reunited with his family and had every intention of going back to my friend as soon as the operation he needed to undergo was complete. It looked like it could have been a happy ending to several years of pain, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
To give another example of good people getting messed around, my best Japanese friend is now having her own stalker experience (you may know I had a little incident myself last year). It's very difficult as it's a coworker, and for the sake of her career she has to be very careful what she does. There are laws in Japan to protect against sexual harrassment, but it's a little more complicated. Japanese business is still quite male dominated, and issues of age and rank come into play too. If she were to get a reputation for being a trouble-maker she could kiss her career prospects goodbye. It just makes me so mad. It's all so selfish and unfair. Again it's another situation where I feel powerless and just have to watch as a friend goes through the ringer.
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Update on goals

I have been really busy of late. But basically work and study have been fine. As it's spring, there's a real feeling of new beginnings - lots of new classes, new faces, new names to learn.
From the last post you know that I've been trying to get my life back on the straight and narrow - being healthier, more centred, more focused on some goals. In spite of a few bumps in the road, I've done pretty well over the last couple of weeks.
It's been really rainy and grey here of late. That ususally makes me kind of depressed. But the other day I awoke to a perfect blue sky and a clear crisp spring morning. I went into work practically whistling. The heavens clearly didn't want me to keep that mood for long as, within five minutes of walking in the door, I had whacked my head off the door jam, tripped up the stairs spraining my wrist and spilled black coffee all over my notes, coat and the floor. I really felt like walking right back out of the building and going home. I persevered with the day and it actually turned out to be pretty good in the end.