Existential Crisis

So since my sis left I've been returning to normal life. I'm not back in work, only in Japanese school, so I have had a nice free schedule. I'd be hard pushed to say I've used my time constructively. Put it this way, I've had several couch potato days where I haven't even left the house or gotten out of my pyjamas. Much and all as I enjoyed them, 8-hour DVD marathons (The West Wing Season 3 is so cool!) are neither good for the eyes, the spirit nor the spine! On the days I have dragged myself out of the flat, I've gone to my usual haunts. Up in Shimokitozawa (my old, funky neighbourhood) I sat in a cafe I'd taken my sis too, drank a beer and felt pretty sad. It wasn't the same going there alone. I have to say the drink helped dull the pain. It was a brilliant sunny day and sitting on the terrace enjoying the sun I downed my first Hoegaarden of the season. Meaningless trivia: Who knew it was properly pronounced Hugh Garden! I always thought it was Ho Garden, even though I lived practically beside the brewery for two years. If ever I need a stage name or a pseudonym or something, I'm set. That's it right there! That same day I got my pretentious on and went to a tiny art house cinema to enjoy an avant-garde comedy from the 1960s. Think Jacques Tati, but in Japanese. It was by Kinoshita Ryo (a contemporary of Kurosawa Akira) and was called Otoko girai (男嫌い - The Men-haters). It was the humourous trials and tribulations of four spinster sisters who were dealing with being unmarried at a time of great change in Japan. They were modern women coping with constantly being set up with undesirables and figuring out their place in a society caught between the lure of the old and the embrace of the new. To be honest it was pretty difficult for me to understand. It was so quick and of course humour really doesn't always translate easily. But I'd say I got about 70% of it - certainly enough to enjoy the experience. What was most interesting for me was picking up on the cultural references from a period when Japan suddenly knew extraordinary economic and social development. The four 'Thoroughly Modern Millies' lived in a house that looked like it was plucked from Southern California. They didn't take their shoes off when entering the home. They drank liberally, wore Western dress, and (apparently a first in Japanese cinema) were shown dunking newfangled teabags in cups, rather than enduring the ritual tea preparation of old. It was a learning experience that's for sure. I only wish I'd worn my black polo neck and beret - I would have fit in better with the rest of the crowd. Today, too, I hit the city centre for some shopping. I need new shoes. My sis told me how it's bad for your feet to wear the same pair of shoes every day. Since my first visit to a chiropractor all those years ago, I'm all about the spinal rectitude. So I need to stock up on a variety of pairs for the good of my back. Needless to say, I came home empty handed. I hate shopping. But I did enjoy a lovely walk in the sunny city and plentiful relaxing coffee breaks. The ‘talking in toilets’ saga continues, by the way. Avid readers will remember that I am shocked by how often I come across people sitting on the jacks and talking on their mobile phone. Repulsive, right? Well it happened again in a department store today. But that's nothing. When my sis was over I had the misfortune to see an even worse breach of etiquette. We were taking a much need break in Machida. Having a bladder the size of a pea, I, of course, needed to use the facilities. On entering the bathroom I was disgusted to glance at a guy standing at the urinal, wanger in one hand, mobile phone in the other, talking away like he was just shooting the breeze with a friend. Now surely you all agree this is not on. Tell me none of you has even done such a thing. On that dirty note, I guess I’d better go do some study. In Japanese school yesterday we were given our application forms for the big end of year test (this is the government accreditation test that decides whether I pass or fail the year at school). Yikes. I can't believe how close it is now: The Fourth of December. I really don't want to think about it. I've done flop all in the last few weeks, but don't regret a minute. As per usual, having waved off another visitor, I'm going through a serious bout of homesickness and can't imagine what I'm going to do in the future. Every day, my plans change. At the moment it's looking like I'll stay in Japan for another year and a half. Then, take another three months to travel around the world again. After that, I’ll go home to Dublin, maybe enter that Masters program in DCU and then try and figure out what the hell it is that I want to do with the rest of my life. Talk about your existential crises. I just miss my family so much right now. I love it over here, as you know, but I always feel that my life is somehow on pause. That the life I have made here for myself is not real, just temporary. That someday I'm going to have to knuckle down, get married, get a house and have kids. Anyway, to any of you who are shocked by this, take it with a pinch of salt. Homesickness does weird things to a body. Plus it always passes. Needless to say I will make no firm decisions in such a state. Everything is yet to play for!